How to Take Pride in Being a Lesbian

This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.

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Developing lesbian pride is a journey. You can start small by learning more about your new community and joining organizations. Once you've explored your identity more and gotten more comfortable, you can speak out when people say hurtful things about lesbians. From there, you can become more of an activist to educate and encourage others to stand up for LGBTQ+ rights. Taking pride in being a lesbian also means finding self-acceptance and coming out to others.

Accepting Yourself as a Lesbian

• If your family, culture, and/or religion is against LGBTQ+ identities, you might have more difficulty with feelings of fear, shame, and denial.
• At this stage, it’s normal for you to compartmentalize your sexual identity or to feel like being a lesbian may not be permanent.

• If you are a university student, most campuses have a LGBTQ+ resource center, where you can find information, community resources, cultural events, and supportive people.
• If you are teenager, and have a family and school that is accepting of LGBTQ+ identities, consider connecting with resources in your school, such as your guidance counselor or other students.
• If you are a teenager and don’t feel safe going to anyone in your community, find online resources from The Trevor Project. They have online resources about sexual orientation and the coming out process, as well as a safe space for you to chat with others online for more information. They also have a hotline you can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. [1] X Research source

Share your identity with others. Once you’ve accepted who you are, it’s time to share that with others. Choose who to come out to and when you want to tell them. You do not have to come out to everyone at once, and some people choose to come out only to their friends and family, but not at work. [2] X Research source

• Choose someone who is supportive of you to be the first person you come out to.
• Prepare yourself for negative reactions and rejection. Unfortunately, some people may not be accepting of you. Don’t give up hope, they may just need time to adjust. [3] X Research source
• Know that it is your choice to disclose your identity or not. [4] X Research source [5] X Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 February 2021. If you choose to come out, think about why you want to do so. Is it because you want to connect with the person romantically or sexually, or do you want support from them. [6] X Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 February 2021. You should have a safety plan in place. For example, if things get worse, you should have a place to stay, a trustworthy person to support you, and money to meet your needs. [7] X Research source [8] X Expert Source